Who: Young the Giant with Bahamas and Apache Relay
When: July 19, 2012
Where: Thursday at the Harbor/ Buffalo, NY
With: Hillary
Of Note: Children of Buffalo, you should be ashamed of yourself!
So, we've documented here how much I love Young the Giant and how good they are live. I was so excited when I heard they were coming to Thursday at the Harbor, Buffalo's free outdoor concert series. A band I love! For free! Fifteen minutes from my house!
I would love to use this space to tell you how good the opening act Bahamas was - it was just a guy with a guitar, a drummer, and two backing vocalists but the set was musically interesting, some blues guitar influences, a bit of soul, a big sound for the limited instrumentation. Also, he was hilarious, poking fun at the kids who had their parents drop them off, ripping on the Sabres vs. Maple Leafs rivalry, being Canadian.
Or, frankly, I would love to tell you about how great Young the Giant is, again, so riveting live and how excited I am for their new album, based on the new songs I've heard live. I'd love to tell you how much the effects microphone rocks or how pretty 'Strings' was.
Instead, you get this:
(And, sorry, I know I've used this narrative device once before recently, but it was appropriate here as well.)
Dear Children of Buffalo,
Auntie Jen is very disappointed in you. You were abhorrent tonight. You were rude to your fellow concert-goers and to the brilliant musicians on stage. You were loud and obnoxious. You put other concert-goers in physical danger. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
(Since you seem to be confused, let me point out a few things about your fashion choices as well:
1. Tights are not pants, no matter how skinny you are.
2. A camisole or tube top or something should always be worn under a lace or crochet type top. Again, no matter how skinny you are.
3. A white gauzy maxi dress is perhaps not the most appropriate look for an outdoor concert in pouring rain.
4. You should all be nicer to each other, maybe that way you would have friends that could tell you things like, "You look absolutely ridiculous."
5. Red pleather skinny jeans are not a good look for anyone.
6. If I can see the bottom of your ass cheeks, your shorts are too short.)
Now, I know that Auntie Jen seems old and stodgy and like she's against having fun. You're wrong! Auntie Jen loves fun, loves concerts, and loves the band that is on stage so for the love of God, please stop shrieking at your friends and pay attention!
Auntie Jen does not like having to step aside so that your crowd-surfing (at Young the Giant, really?) ass falls on the ground painfully. Auntie Jen does not like having to take her attention away from the stage to tell your friends that if your 17 year old drunk self does not quit leaning on her she's going to push you over. Auntie Jen does not like having to elbow you in the back to make you get the fuck off her. Auntie Jen especially does not like having to square her shoulders, turn away from the stage, and tell you and all your douchey brethren to, "Knock it off. I'm serious. Knock it off," because she knows that beyond your macho posturing, you're actually scared of her. Auntie Jen would much rather have everyone sing along and dance and enjoy the show!
So, children of Buffalo, who have behaved so abhorrently tonight, I want you to be ashamed of yourselves for acting like absolute jackasses. I'm not sure why your parents let you get drunk and go out in public, but they should be ashamed as well.
As someone older and wiser, I'd like to teach you the rules of concert attendance:
1. Have fun! Have so much fun! Sing along and dance and take cell phone pictures and cheer and clap! Love it so much that it hurts!
2. Do not, under any circumstances, let your fun get in the way of other people's fun. Does it look like the group of 5'2" girls immediately to your right is going to enjoy having you try to crowd surf on them? No? Don't do it! Can't stand up? Maybe you should move to the edge of the crowd and take a breather! Do the people around you look like they want to listen to the music? Then quit fucking shrieking! Want a spot towards the front? Get there early and stake it out; don't show up during the first song and push your way through.
It's really that simple. Unless you're a drunk 17 year old. Then rule number two is impossible to follow and you shouldn't be let out of your parents' basement.
xoxo,
Jen
PS
Confidential to the 23 year old in the parking lot who wondered aloud, "What would it be like to be a hipster?" and cracked right the hell up when I responded, "Awful. It must be awful. What is that even? You pretend to like things you don't like to prove you like them? It must get confusing and be really terrible." You made my night. (Well, you and letting that kid fall on his head.) Thank you for loudly exclaiming, "Thank you! See, someone who thinks like I do! She gets it. You're awesome! She gets it! That's exactly what I think!"
When: July 19, 2012
Where: Thursday at the Harbor/ Buffalo, NY
With: Hillary
Of Note: Children of Buffalo, you should be ashamed of yourself!
So, we've documented here how much I love Young the Giant and how good they are live. I was so excited when I heard they were coming to Thursday at the Harbor, Buffalo's free outdoor concert series. A band I love! For free! Fifteen minutes from my house!
I would love to use this space to tell you how good the opening act Bahamas was - it was just a guy with a guitar, a drummer, and two backing vocalists but the set was musically interesting, some blues guitar influences, a bit of soul, a big sound for the limited instrumentation. Also, he was hilarious, poking fun at the kids who had their parents drop them off, ripping on the Sabres vs. Maple Leafs rivalry, being Canadian.
Or, frankly, I would love to tell you about how great Young the Giant is, again, so riveting live and how excited I am for their new album, based on the new songs I've heard live. I'd love to tell you how much the effects microphone rocks or how pretty 'Strings' was.
Instead, you get this:
(And, sorry, I know I've used this narrative device once before recently, but it was appropriate here as well.)
Dear Children of Buffalo,
Auntie Jen is very disappointed in you. You were abhorrent tonight. You were rude to your fellow concert-goers and to the brilliant musicians on stage. You were loud and obnoxious. You put other concert-goers in physical danger. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
(Since you seem to be confused, let me point out a few things about your fashion choices as well:
1. Tights are not pants, no matter how skinny you are.
2. A camisole or tube top or something should always be worn under a lace or crochet type top. Again, no matter how skinny you are.
3. A white gauzy maxi dress is perhaps not the most appropriate look for an outdoor concert in pouring rain.
4. You should all be nicer to each other, maybe that way you would have friends that could tell you things like, "You look absolutely ridiculous."
5. Red pleather skinny jeans are not a good look for anyone.
6. If I can see the bottom of your ass cheeks, your shorts are too short.)
Now, I know that Auntie Jen seems old and stodgy and like she's against having fun. You're wrong! Auntie Jen loves fun, loves concerts, and loves the band that is on stage so for the love of God, please stop shrieking at your friends and pay attention!
Auntie Jen does not like having to step aside so that your crowd-surfing (at Young the Giant, really?) ass falls on the ground painfully. Auntie Jen does not like having to take her attention away from the stage to tell your friends that if your 17 year old drunk self does not quit leaning on her she's going to push you over. Auntie Jen does not like having to elbow you in the back to make you get the fuck off her. Auntie Jen especially does not like having to square her shoulders, turn away from the stage, and tell you and all your douchey brethren to, "Knock it off. I'm serious. Knock it off," because she knows that beyond your macho posturing, you're actually scared of her. Auntie Jen would much rather have everyone sing along and dance and enjoy the show!
So, children of Buffalo, who have behaved so abhorrently tonight, I want you to be ashamed of yourselves for acting like absolute jackasses. I'm not sure why your parents let you get drunk and go out in public, but they should be ashamed as well.
As someone older and wiser, I'd like to teach you the rules of concert attendance:
1. Have fun! Have so much fun! Sing along and dance and take cell phone pictures and cheer and clap! Love it so much that it hurts!
2. Do not, under any circumstances, let your fun get in the way of other people's fun. Does it look like the group of 5'2" girls immediately to your right is going to enjoy having you try to crowd surf on them? No? Don't do it! Can't stand up? Maybe you should move to the edge of the crowd and take a breather! Do the people around you look like they want to listen to the music? Then quit fucking shrieking! Want a spot towards the front? Get there early and stake it out; don't show up during the first song and push your way through.
It's really that simple. Unless you're a drunk 17 year old. Then rule number two is impossible to follow and you shouldn't be let out of your parents' basement.
xoxo,
Jen
PS
Confidential to the 23 year old in the parking lot who wondered aloud, "What would it be like to be a hipster?" and cracked right the hell up when I responded, "Awful. It must be awful. What is that even? You pretend to like things you don't like to prove you like them? It must get confusing and be really terrible." You made my night. (Well, you and letting that kid fall on his head.) Thank you for loudly exclaiming, "Thank you! See, someone who thinks like I do! She gets it. You're awesome! She gets it! That's exactly what I think!"
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