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Do You Worry That You're Not Liked

Who: Our Lady Peace with American Hi Fi
When: April 30, 2001
Where: University at Buffalo Center for the Arts/ Buffalo, NY
With: Chris
Of Note: freshman year of college really is the weirdest thing, huh?

Being a college freshman is really the weirdest experience - I mean, you live in a shoebox with a person you've never met surrounded by, in my case, alphabetically sorted nerds who are all on their own for the first time and teetering the line between stuDYING and going apeshit crazy. That's where I forged friendships that have lasted 12 years now - over lounge homework parties, break & bake cookies, and my boyfriend the snowman.

Anyway, freshman year of college UB brought Our Lady Peace to the Center for the Arts for like $7 or something. It was BIG DEAL to try to get tickets because people in Buffalo LOVE Our Lady Peace. (Perhaps there is something to that whole "being annexed by Ontario" thing?)

Somehow, I ended up with tickets (someone had them and I bartered for softball team registration money? it's fuzzy) - a bunch of us did - and I went with my friend Chris.

In the UB Honors program, you have to take this terrible class your first semester, in lieu of UB101, called Honors Colloquium. You're put in a group of 5 and have to do some projects - community service, attending "mandatory fun events" and debates against another group. (Since it was the year of 2000 and Napster was going strong, my group debated internet piracy. For our "government should regulate" argument, we took the position that "government should enact regulation allowing all file sharing". The other group was very surprised by this but we got reamed for it. I, apparently, still have a lot of residual issues about these debates. At least ours was interesting. I feel like someone had to debate use of the Metric system. Which...)

Anyway, Chris was in my group. I really liked Chris. And, well, nobody liked Chris. He was kind of a pain in the ass: pre-med perfectionist, pretty full of himself while simultaneously cripplingly insecure, went through an unfortunate phase where he flat ironed his too long hair so he could have the same style as his hero Dawson Leary, kept Microsoft Word archives of all AIM conversations. But, he wasn't douchey to me - we talked music and TV, took some honors seminars together, watched Dawson's Creek, went to church on Easter.

Anyway, Chris started dating this girl, Dana. And, Dana seemed perfectly nice, until she started being a really awful girlfriend. Like, he called me at 9am everyday over the summer crying because she was so mean to him. So, they broke up. But then, they got back together. Now, let this be a lesson: don't talk shit about your significant other to your friends if you plan on getting back together with him or her because your friends will be very skeptical and probably a bit protective. (For the record, it wasn't just me - our friend Reid was also not a huge fan the second time around because of all the crap from the first time.)

Anyway, add my skepticism to the fact that Dana did not like me. (Which, girls? Yes, I am friends with your boyfriend. No, I am not a threat.  Do not let your insecurities make you look crazy [spoiler alert!!].  That was my constant struggle with having guy friends. Once they started dating, I did not have friends. So annoying.) It all came to a head at our friend Reid's birthday dinner.

Senior year, we played intramural volleyball on Thursday nights and then went to Bennigan's. It's what we did. But, for Reid's birthday, we had a bunch of our non-volleyball playing friends waiting at Bennigan's when we got there, so we could have a birthday night out for him. There were tons of people there - a whole big table - and I considered it a successful birthday celebration orchestration. Until it became one of the funniest nights ever. Everyone was eating and drinking and talking - having a good time. I believe that I was seated next to Dana.

Everyone remembers Steve & Barry's right? For a hot minute Steve & Barry's was the greatest thing ever, with their awesome $9 hoodies and $6 t-shirts for every team and cause imaginable. If I recall correctly, Dana was wearing almost the same Steve & Barry's sweatshirt as Jenn (? or Steph? or... someone). And I was going to make a comment about it, but every time I turned to talk to Dana she shoved her face into Chris. Then, she got up and stormed off to the bathroom. Then she came back and it was clear she'd been crying. She whispered something to Chris and they got up, presumably to leave (I'm sure I'm leaving some things out.  This was a long time ago.).

Now, here's the thing about me. I know that I can be a bitch. I know just how to be a bitch. And, my mom has always said that one of the things I'm best at is being a bitch while being sweet as pie so you thank me afterwards. I honestly was not trying to be a bitch that night. One, it was Reid's birthday. Two, I knew she didn't like me and knew that if I wanted to stay friends with Chris, I had to play nice. Three, I was engrossed in some completely other conversation and enjoying my Turkey O'Toole.

Anyway, Dana got up, clearly upset and said, "You're so mean and jealous and make me so uncomfortable. And you were... you were.... sob... LOOKING AT MY SHIRT!" And then she flounced off. And that was the end of my being friends with Chris. Occasionally, I felt really badly about it. Mostly, we all laughed at that incident for years because, well, looking at someone's shirt is not really that mean.  Also, a great way to defuse or ramp up any situation was to do an impression of that night, "You were... you were... sob... LOOKING AT MY SHIRT!"  (Which we did.  Frequently.  Because it was hilarious.)

So, three years prior to me looking at Dana's shirt, Chris and I went to see Our Lady Peace. I knew next to nothing about Our Lady Peace but was REALLY PUMPED to see American Hi Fi because their song 'Flavor of the Week' was MY JAM. Seriously, I love that song so much. They melody, the lyrics, the message... perfection. It has made an appearance on pretty much every Jen's Motivational Music Mix ever. They have done nothing else of note.

Our Lady Peace was good. Everyone went batshit when they played 'Superman'. I remember thinking that it was kind of unsafe that the balcony of CFA felt like it was swaying because everyone was dancing and jumping.  I remember being excited that I knew '4 am' the first encore song.  (For anyone interested, this was the setlist, apparently.)

And that's the story of how I lost one of my good college friends by looking at his girlfriend's shirt.

HER BOYFRIEND, HE DON'T KNOW...

Comments

  1. I still cant remember if I went to that show ....but I know I saw them in college! Hahaha good times!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ZOMG. Levanduski, I love this post. I loved that concert and I loved $9 college sweatshirts from S&B's and to this day I mourn the fact that there is no Bennigan's in my life (I would kill a man for the southwestern eggrolls with pineapple dipping sauce). Also, I haven't thought about the Colloquium debates since 2002. I can't remember a single thing about mine and that makes me a little sad. Whyyyyy didn't I hang on to that memory????!!! -Katie (Walsh)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jenn: Must be I was thinking of someone else then...

    KTWALSH: ZOMG. I am so glad that I could provide you a time machine back to another land. Thanks so much for reading!!! (BTW, I totally drool over all your SharedBites dishes and have been working up the courage to make your squash soup.)

    ReplyDelete

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